so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
