The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
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aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
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bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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