And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
