u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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