I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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