i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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