The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
