I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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