I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
