I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
