She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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