im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
