drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
