im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
