You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
