theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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