Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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