Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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