Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
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im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
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for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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