Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
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He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
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It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
did you just send me my own nude
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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