She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
