Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
