My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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