Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
