For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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