dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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