i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
