just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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