Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
