Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
