$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
