it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
