I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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