Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow

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  (609): if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow http://tfl.nu/srq6
  Replies (10) Good night (893) Bad night (1554)
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  (474): View more from

  Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.

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  (474): Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now. http://tfl.nu/0awf
  Replies (28) Good night (6561) Bad night (1129)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...

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  (610): I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events... http://tfl.nu/y2xk
  Replies (26) Good night (7600) Bad night (752)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.

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  (513): He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets. http://tfl.nu/5i0f
  Replies (7) Good night (6142) Bad night (951)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.

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  (630): im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again. http://tfl.nu/uwyc
  Replies (7) Good night (1914) Bad night (876)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!

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  (740): Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE! http://tfl.nu/i7pp
  Replies (14) Good night (4546) Bad night (956)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.

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  (505): There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city. http://tfl.nu/w5w1
  Replies (8) Good night (2238) Bad night (613)
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  (818): View more from California

  I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.

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  (818): I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job. http://tfl.nu/0hbs
  Replies (13) Good night (2563) Bad night (871)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth

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  (602): I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth http://tfl.nu/7hav
  Replies (5) Good night (1366) Bad night (484)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.

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  (410): Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea. http://tfl.nu/1cgp
  Replies (4) Good night (674) Bad night (613)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.

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  (360): I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day. http://tfl.nu/9n5p
  Replies (1) Good night (786) Bad night (330)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????

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  (513): CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT???? http://tfl.nu/8dlj
  Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (317)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it

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  (724): My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe. (1-724): I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it http://tfl.nu/uinn
  Replies (5) Good night (723) Bad night (230)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.

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  (303): Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super. http://tfl.nu/a5le
  Replies (1) Good night (445) Bad night (223)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices

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  (306): yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices http://tfl.nu/7tdp
  Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (219)

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