Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
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I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?