Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.