Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?

(401): View more from Rhode Island

we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.

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(401): remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice? (401): we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession. http://tfl.nu/61ek

Replies (41) Good night (889) Bad night (2725)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.

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(484): I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today. http://tfl.nu/rr17

Replies (18) Good night (4522) Bad night (893)
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(914): View more from New York

Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk

(1-914): View more from New York

It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you

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(914): Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk (1-914): It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you http://tfl.nu/bgwq

Replies (55) Good night (8744) Bad night (917)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.

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(610): I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate. http://tfl.nu/wg9p

Replies (11) Good night (1025) Bad night (3571)
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(410): View more from Maryland

i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.

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(410): i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job. http://tfl.nu/i6fk

Replies (33) Good night (4520) Bad night (940)
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(713): View more from Texas

Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.

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(713): Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming. http://tfl.nu/lyy1

Replies (27) Good night (2898) Bad night (1687)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...

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(270): The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips... http://tfl.nu/unl6

Replies (8) Good night (5417) Bad night (1582)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?

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(541): Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl? http://tfl.nu/31z4

Replies (5) Good night (2033) Bad night (949)
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(407): View more from Florida

I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.

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(407): I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls. http://tfl.nu/jhsp

Replies (6) Good night (1614) Bad night (742)
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(410): View more from Maryland

What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?

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(410): What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots? http://tfl.nu/z5fp

Replies (6) Good night (1177) Bad night (509)
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(847): View more from Illinois

It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone

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(847): It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone http://tfl.nu/1xod

Replies (6) Good night (726) Bad night (1017)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte

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(856): she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte http://tfl.nu/jlfx

Replies (3) Good night (912) Bad night (352)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.

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(404): I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things. http://tfl.nu/rlo1

Replies (3) Good night (1085) Bad night (370)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.

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(502): I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going. http://tfl.nu/r4ch

Replies (1) Good night (340) Bad night (290)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.

(575): View more from New Mexico

Where else would I get life advice?

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(704): Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right. (575): Where else would I get life advice? http://tfl.nu/mfwy

Replies (0) Good night (407) Bad night (143)

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