that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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