My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i out mim tonsoeep
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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