Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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