We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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