i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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