I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
