I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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