And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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