Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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