This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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