ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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