My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
