I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize