why do cheetos always look like penises
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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