Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
