I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
