May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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