dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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