totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize