Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
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