I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she looked like the before picture.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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