the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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