Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
