JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
