He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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