end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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