He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
