I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
