One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
