Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
