If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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