that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
How naked do you want me to be?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
